Ashbloemstraat

Home is nice.

Today I posted an ad on CraigsList to finally get rid of the bunk beds. The last vestige of teenage-dom in our house will finally be gone and we will move the desk, etc into that room and have a proper eating area. I'll also soon paint that last wall orange and re-arrange the front room a bit (I think). We officially renew our lease this month, so we'll be here another year if not two.

My ambivalence over staying in Dallas is obvious, but I do really like our little house, even if the back roof does leak during massive rainstorms. Maybe those are all over for a while?

I need to take a couple days, put on the sweats and buy a bunch of scrubby sponges because the whole place could use a wash-down, but I've decided not to put too much pressure on myself regarding this - since everyone has been gone David and i are much better at maintaining a clean & cozy if a bit messy house, and it's not such a bad baseline.

The cats are all happy here, especially now that Gus is gone. Oh Gus, my big huge fatty furball. I miss that cat, but the truth is that he was very unhappy in this new house, and he was driving us crazy. He is much more relaxed and happy in his new home at my sister's place.

We may never have the closet under control, but I'm starting to learn to deal with it. 

We are having the first 1977 2 in 1 International Cocktail and Hors D'Oeuvres Card Deck Cocktail party this Friday for David's birthday. And then I'm taking him out to dinner. Then I'm taking him to bed - ooo la la!

I think I may never be a grown up Grown-Up, but as long as I can stay as calm and on top of things as I do today, I think I'm doing alright. Today, home seems much less about what city I'm in than who I'm with and what cuddly creatures are beside me.

Knitting update

It's been so nice to get back into knitting a lot, and have projects I'm excited about quickly lining up.

Currently, I am finishing these booties that were going to be for me but now may be a gift for someone I know:

 

Then, I have promised David a new scarf:

 

And I'm working on another baby bolero for my friend who I thought was only pregnant with one, so I gave her a wee green one, but come to find out she's having twins, so I'm making a blue one too!

Also, I'm making this hat.

And there you have it. I actually have a lot more in queue in my mind, but I'll be pretty happy to get these done in the next month. Also, I'm a re-ignited fan of Ravelry. How brilliant! There are also some great knitting apps for the iPhone. My favorite so far is the one that keeps track of what knitting needles one owns, so you'll never be at a store and say, I wonder if I need these? It's called Needles, appropriately enough.

I'm considering making Saturday evening my new craft night. I rarely go out on Saturdays, and David usually works that night, so I default to being at home alone knitting anyway. Anyone in the area who reads this have any thoughts on joining me on Saturdays instead of Tuesdays and Wednesdays?

Jail.

Today I went to visit someone in jail. This was a first to me. And seriously, someone at the Lew Sterrett Justice Center needs to put together a page for their website for first time visitors, because let me tell you that shit is NOT friendly.

Visiting hours on Sunday are from 8.30 to 11.30. I woke up a bit later than I meant to, and got to Sterrett about 10.45. I didn't know where to go or what to expect, seeing as how I don't hang with the criminalz, but I figured there would be someone who could help me.

HAHAHAHHAHA! There is nothing helpful in jail! Just in case you didn't know!

I was pretty proud of myself, because when I left home I said aloud "I bet they won't let me in with this purse!" And David mumbled from the bed, "Are you talking to yourself?" And I said, "I'll just take my wallet! How clever." And David yelled, "Bring me queso!" And I said "I love you too!" and left.

Lew Sterrett is a sort of sprawling place, as places in Dallas tend to be, so I parked across the street and made my way up to the entrance. I put my wallet and keys through the x-ray machine, and said to the security guard running the thing, "Hi there! This is my first time at jail! Where do I go to visit someone?" He waved me to a window.

Once I got the location, etc. I headed down the long, soul-sucking, Soviet-era cinderblock-construction hallway along with about 10 pregnant women, 5 infants, and more questionable fashion choices than I could count. I got to the door I needed to go to, and the police lady and man there handed me a form.

"Fill this out," said Mildly Pleasant Police Man.

Pause, as I fill out form.

"You gonna have to take that wallet back out to yo' car," Stereotype Black Police Woman said flatly.

"Wha? Seriously? This wallet?" I open it up and fifteen receipts fall out.

"Mmmm hmmm. And you better hurry. You only got..." SBPW looks at her watch. "Ten minutes."

"Geez! Can you just hold it for me?"

Syncronized head-shaking.

"BLERG! OK fine."

I RUN back down the hall, and to the front door. Before I run out, I turn to the security guy.

"Hey! You didn't tell me I couldn't bring this wallet in when visiting!" I whined.

"Oh yeah, no, you can't bring that. Go take it to your car. Why you running?"

"They said I only have ten minutes and that's a lot of running!"

Security Dude rubs his chin. "I guess they are right about that. You almost out of time."

"Can I leave it with you? Please? I'm not worried about this getting stolen or anything... I don't have anything in it but receipts!" I open the wallet. Another 5 receipts float out.

"Well, I'm not supposed to, but.... ok."

"THANK YOU, SIR!"

I leave my wallet and run back down the long hallway to the table where I was before. Mildly Pleasant Police Man and Stereotype Black Police Woman are smiling and chatting until they see me, then their faces go blank.

"OK!" I smile. "I got rid of the wallet! Woo hoo! Now where do I go to see the kiddo?"

SBPW looks at my form, then looks at me. "ID please."

ID?

"But you just made me go put my wallet away!" I say incredulously. "You didn't tell me to keep my ID!"

"Gotta have an ID to come in." She looks at her watch. "And you better hurry. You only got five minutes."

"OH GEEZ YOU GUYS FOR CRYING OUT-" And I run back down the hall.

I grab the ID, run back down the never-ending hallway, and present it.

"Oooo! You sho' WORKED for this visit!" says Mildly Pleasant Police Man.

SBPW smiles at him.

Sometimes I really dislike cops.

Seriously?

Dealing with jail is not fun. I can't believe this kid. More to come. This is a lame entry, but it's been quite a day.

From his journal, November 5, 1860

I am struck by the fact that the more slowly trees grow at first, the sounder they are at the core, and I think that the same is true of human beings. We do not wish to see children precocious, making great strides in their early years like sprouts, producing a soft and perishable timber, but better if they expand slowly at first, as if contending with difficulty, and so are solidified and perfected. Such trees continue to expand with nearly equal rapidity to an extreme old age.

-Henry David Thoreau

Wow! What changes in philosophy of child development!

On area codes.

I got the wee computer. In order to, I did have to change my phone number, which for some reason was very upsetting. I hated seeing that 617 number go. I know, I haven't been in Boston for almost three years now, but it felt like I was still part of the community or something. Like I was still grounded in the northeast. But now it is all over. Sniff. I'm a Dallasite.

I did almost lose it, however, when they tried to give me a 972 number. "I have to lose my 617 number and NOW you tell me I have to have a 972 number? This is starting to not even be worth it!" I moaned. The fellow, much confused by my area code finickiness, did finally find me a 214 number, but it took a LONG TIME, my friends. Dear Nate at ATT: you are a patient man. 

Speaking with several other friends, I realize I am not alone in this area code affection, but it seems to me (from my extremely scientific polling) to be a very specific and targeted age group that cares - approximately the 35-37 range. Outside of that, changing area codes seem par for the course. Does anyone else see this? Or are you outside of that range and really DEEPLY care about your area code, as though it is a reflection of yourself? Are you in that age range and think I'm weird?

Area codes are still very geographic in my mind, even though, for example, I can easily live now in Dallas with a Boston number for almost three years. When that dude told me I had to have a 972 area code, he might as well have been telling me to pack up my bags and move to Mesquite. It just wasn't going to happen.

Fresh start.

I returned to Dallas just on Monday. I've been so focused on catching up with work that I feel like I have been back for days. Already I have gotten more work done than I feel like I had for weeks with other people in the house. And although I have an office, it still makes a difference when people are around all the time. It means every moment, from breakfast to lunch to dinner, was never my own. But now, they all are. And I'm getting shit DONE.

My productivity is not limited to work. I've also managed to finish uploading all my outstanding photos (you'll notice that my editing work on Flickr has been limited, but whatever - at least I have caught up!) and catch up on Google Reader. That said, some of my "catching up" on Reader really means just marking all as read and starting at zero, but that's ok too. I at least feel like my ducks are lining up, even if they aren't in a perfect row. 

I've almost finished the little booties I started knitting a couple weeks ago, but set aside while Nico and the Austrian were here. I'm about to defriend some Twitter people; I just can't take all of it anymore. The interwebs is generally starting to bore me, so I need to pare it down to what I enjoy the most.

It feels like I just stepped out of a tornado, or one of those crazy spinning rides; wild and uncontrollably dizzy, holding onto the ground as tight as I can. Focusing on a small spot in front of me so the spinning calms as quickly as possible. 

Things I miss that I am slowly reincorporating into my life: reading, writing, embroidering, regular and loud sex, 9 hours of sleep a night, yoga, running

Things I won't miss and good riddance: cooking for other people, listening to people whine about dumb things, beer cans strewn all over the goddamn place, the X-Box, teenage boy socks, heat, cleaning up other people's stupid dishes all the fucking time every fucking day

Things I'm taking a break from for a while: Facebook, non-Netflix'd TV shows, drinking

Even just writing these entries regularly for the past four days has made me feel more calm and focused.

There are lessons to be learned here, somewhere. Everywhere.

Ways in which David & I are different: Part 4

Aw, look! David got up and made the bed before he left. He is ever so thoughtful.

But, because apparently I don't have enough else going on, I straightened it up a bit more to my liking.

Seriously, though, I never thought of myself as an anal person, but as I grow older I find myself a whole lot more particular about certain things and David tends to laugh at me for it.

Do you think this is a man/woman thing? Do we all fall into some stereotypical behavior in our old age no matter how hard we've tried to avoid it? Is it a control issue? Do so many things in my life seem out of control that I have to take it out on the towels? I thought it was just because I liked my towels to be symmetrical and orderly but now that I've started wanting the bed made up and the DVDs neatly arranged I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.

On another note, cats also seem to appreciate a well-made bed. Anytime I make it up, a cat or two jumps up and settles in. You'd think they'd be happy on a bed no matter what its state, but apparently it is not so. Too bad I can't teach them how to make up the bed for all of us. Useless animals.

Halloween.

Well, Halloween is probably my favorite holiday, and thanks to extremely inconsiderate planning on my company's part, I had to spend it in meetings and at an employee dinner in Boston, and all in all unless I was going to steal the hotel sheet and cut eyeholes and be a ghost a costume just couldn't happen and so therefore it didn't.

However, I did get to catch up with some of the old guard and have a few drinks and generally have a good time, so I can't say Halloween was exactly disappointing. Ron, Will, Carmen, and Jim are all still living in the South End, god bless 'em, and my friends Geni & Amy have both moved up to the northeast from Dallas within the past three months and we spent some time catching up, even if we were all REALLY drunk on Saturday night and don't remember much of what we talked about at all. The costumes were good. Those of you who are on Facebook can see them there- soon I'll get caught up on Flickr and post more photos here.

I won't lie, I really miss Boston recently. In some ways I wonder if I jumped the gun too quickly on moving, but at the same time I think things have worked out perfectly in terms of being able to plan our wedding, and live cheaper for some amount of time and reassess where we would REALLY like to be - which, as I have said, would probably more so be Seattle rather than Boston. At the same time, Boston is SO deeply comfortable to me, and I miss the group of friends there. If job circumstances took me back, I can't say I'd be too sad. Also at this stage, due to how different my old neighborhood has become, I'd feel ok living outside of the South End and living somewhere that seemed really remote to me before, like Salem or East Boston. Of course, it is different since I'm with David now, rather than when I was looking for an apartment as a single cat lady.

All this said, how nice to be back home in our wee house. It needs a deep cleaning, it is true, but the mess David can do alone pales in comparison to the mess teenagers can make, so it was a pleasant homecoming and I had to praise whatever energy in the world made it possible for us to finally have all the kids out of the house. I don't regret it, but it's a welcome change; and that's a story for another day.

Now it is much later than I wanted to be going to bed. But I also got a snooze in with David before he had to run to work, and the cats are extremely happy I am home and are anxious to snuggle, so I think sleep will be quick in coming, deep, and satisfying. Good night, dear friends. Already nice to be back on ye olde blog.

Fetish

Apparently I am extremely turned on by my husband wearing dramatic makeup.

I think I blame staring too deeply into the heavily made up eyes of Duran Duran in posters on my walls in 1984.

 
 

ARRRRRG!

OK, I am finally going to pull my shit together. Let me outline what has been happening the past two months:

1. Dutch kid arrives; supposed to stay about 6 weeks; stays almost 10.

2. Jeremy arrives with adorable but energy-zapping toddler; I reconsider children.

3. My job changes and I play mad catch up to get to where I need to be.

4. Austrian girl needs an emergency home so comes into ours for one week.

5. Niko comes for a visit from Korea.

6. I work multiple evenings and weekends.

7. I am currently in Boston.

As you can see, the past two months have been crazy. It's not been all bad, but let's just say that when I have gotten any stretch of time to myself, sitting down in front of a computer and forming coherent thoughts just hasn't been a part of the equation. In fact, the past three months have really exacerbated what I had already been thinking might be an adult ADD issue.

Now that the house has finally cleared out, I may be able to actually form a thought. Two, even.

Here are some good things that happened the past couple of months:

1. We went to Vegas! Had a great time.

2. I'm in Boston! It is so nice here. Why did I leave, again?

3. David and I are entering a really nice point of our marriage. I don't know what it is. We were definitely stressed out during the summer and work was crazy on us in August, but I think we learned some really valuable lessons about how we handle stress, maybe?

4. My hair is looking good the past few days. Yeah.

5. We paid off our credit cards. We didn't have much debt, but it was the last from the wedding, so that feels nice.

6. I saw Kat the other night in Dallas. That was a treat. It had been a long time.

7. Started knitting quite a lot again. Needed something soothing.

8. The house, though it needs a deep cleaning, feels cozier all the time.

9. Even though I'm playing catch-up on the job, I think (hope) I'm going to do a good job, which makes me feel more at ease about the upcoming season.

10. We are going to St. Louis to visit Ann & Dab in a few weeks! Whee!

Right now I am working in Boston, in a big shared team space, and it is amazing how accustomed I've become to working alone - I find all the conversations and phones and general chatter EXTREMELY distracting. In fact, it is taking great effort to write the post right now. But I did want to pop in and say that I know I've been MIA, but that's about to change.

In fact, I'm going to do NaNoBloMo. That will kick my ass into some sort of gear. Even if it is a shitty gear, it will be a gear nevertheless. So stay tuned, people.

Has it really been so long?

I can hardly believe i haven't written anything since September 23. That's two weeks.

Of course, I did enjoy the September down-time, but work is picking up again. But I'm going to write today.

I have things to say!

Another impulse buy from the Lakewood Library book sale.

So in addition to spending a dollar on my 1957 kill the environment through household hints book, I picked up another little something for a dollar. This dollar was even BETTER spent, I think. Behold The 2 in 1 International Recipe Card Collection for Mixed Drinks and Hors D'oeuvre from 1977!

And look how finely organized it is:

See that? A veritable cornucopia of classic cocktails and otherwise odd beverages. Each card has one or two variations on a cocktail:

And then wait! It gets even better! On the back of each card is a well-matched hors d'oeuvre!

Tell me this is not one of the best things you've ever seen. I mean, COME ON.

So here is my thought - for crafty nights (Tuesdays and Wednesdays again), I'm going to pick a card and make that particular cocktail and hors d'oeuvre combination. What do you think? Fun, right? We can try all kinds of delicious and not so delicious combinations, and in the meantime I'll be slowly stocking the best bar in east Dallas. 

So! Who is up for crafts and cocktails at Chez McBennelland?

Mom & Pop, they will fuck you up - it's true.

Love keeps up together; love will keep us alive.

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
 They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
 And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
 By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
 And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
 It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
 And don't have any kids yourself.

I've probably had this one memorized since I knew poetry was worth memorizing.

And me mum wonders why children hold no interest.

Household hints.

After the meeting with the financial adviser, we realized that we do have some corners we can cut. We aren't crazy spenders, but we do go out a lot, and I get suddenly obsessive about something like a particular dish I really want or a pair of shoes I can't imagine living without. Generally I've thought that was ok to have random purchases since we don't have things like car payments and cable, but it's still clear some of that random impulse shopping on my part needs to go, and maybe I can wait until we're back from one trip to start planning another.

But when I went to the Lakewood Public Library the other day to put up a poster on the community bulletin board, they were having a book sale, and I just had to look. I admit, I did a bit of impulse shopping. I spent $3.25. Don't judge me, ok?

But one of those dollars was extremely well spent on the following book: The Encyclopedia of Household Hints and Dollar Stretchers, from 1957. It's my up-to-date guide to better living, according to the cover. I think the dollar is worth it already!

As I read through this, I will make it a point of sharing some of the best gems with you. Some of it is actually pretty good. But other parts make me put my finger to my chin, look thoughtfully to the sky, and say, "I guess it isn't so surprising our environment is fucked."

Chapter: How to Be Your Own Handyman

A powerful homemade glue: If you've been having trouble finding a glue that will stick glass to glass, leather to metal, or other unusual combinations, burn some shellac in a dish to get rid of the alcohol. The remainder wil be one of the strongest and best all-purpose glues you've ever used.

BURN SHELLAC? In a DISH? Presumably in the house? Aside from the general toxic fumes, which I assume wouldn't been good for wee Junior & Jill, wouldn't you consider this... dangerous?  Do you just light it on fire? Put it on the stove?

I think my modern brain just isn't willing to try this one. I'll stick with the equally toxic but less-on-fire option of SuperGlue in a resealable tube, or Gorilla Glue or something. Anything but setting shellac on fire in my house.